Still America's Favorite Past Time

I recently saw a tweet from Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy, that baseball as "America's Past Time" might be dead. The argument was that if a bore of a football game (the Titans whipped the Jags tonight) could generate higher ratings than a post-season duel between Andy Petite and Cliff Lee in Yankee Stadium, the sport should give up its moniker.

The reality is, baseball has been America's "number 2" sport for a while now. The NFL has consistently drawn more ratings and captured more attention than the rest of America's big four...MLB, the NBA and the NHL. But no longer America's past time? That's something I can't stand for.

Listen, I know the NFL has the Superbowl. And I know he NBA has put up some strong post-season ratings and will "only get better" with the big three now in Miami. But come on. What other sport can you go to simply to enjoy the venue, to smell the fresh cut grass? As a Royals fan, I've been forced to watch many-a game blissfully unaware of the score...because we almost always lose. But to me, thats the beauty of it. The Royals have been terrible basically for the last 25 years, and I make plans to go to games every season. This summer I went to at least 10 games alone, maybe 15.

The score at the end of the game is important, and always will be...but with baseball, you can enjoy a thursday night, have a few beers with your buddies and heckle the crap out of the opposing team. And that's all you need to do to have a good time. Baseball is as much a social event as it is a competition.

I know history doesn't always count for much, but for baseball, shouldn't it at least count a little? Shouldn't it matter that some of the most famous pictures of our most famous presidents are pictures of them tossing out the opening pitch? Or that baseball has been, almost since its inception, what we fall back on when our country goes through hard times? Think about 9/11, and the games in Yankee Stadium shortly after. Look up what baseball meant to America during the Great Depression, During the second World War; it was immense.

Forget the low ratings, or the fact that some of MLB's post-season games air on puny TBS. Baseball has been woven into our culture. Its something to enjoy, simply because of what it is, and for that reason baseball will always be America's Favorite Past Time.

"What does mama bear on the pill and the World Series have in common? No cubs."

-Harry Caray

On Becoming A Senior Citizen

I sitting here watching an old episode of fantasy factory; the one where they all dress as old people. I've always liked to think of myself of the guy who grows up to be the old guy who cusses a lot and doesnt really care if he farts at the dinner table. You know, one of those guys who really just doesnt give a f&*#. The problem is...I kinda do some of those things already.

Ok, so maybe I don't fart at the dinner table..but still. I can cuss pretty much on command, I've already show up to a party without a pair of pants on (an attractive picture Im painting of myself, I know)...is it still going to be cool and surprising if I become the renegade old guy who refuses to sub in fudge for a more explicit four letter word?

When you think about it, who among our generation isnt going to become a reckless, and somewhat wrinkly senior citizen? Isn't it funny because old people were "so much more conservative" in their golden years? I mean what are our grand kids going to think when they learn that one of the hit songs of our generation was "I kissed a Girl," sung by a girl? Better yet, what are we going to think of our grand kids? I kind of hope there is a conservative movement in the next 20 years, because a world in which you can marry a man and a woman at the same time isn't a world I'm ready for just yet. Just some food for thought.

Carnies

Over the weekend, I spent some time at a carnival. It was great, there were enormous stuffed prizes, fried snickers bars (more on that later), and of course carnies. It was one of those carnivals that didn't even try to pretend that it was safe...all of the rides were in some way attached to a moving vehicle. Get a little closer and you'll realize the rides are operated by three guys, who between the three of them have about 10 teeth, and may or may not have just taken a few pulls on old no. 7. Its one of the few places where sexual harassment is all part of the act.

The funny thing is, children are actually encouraged to attend. Despite the potentially intoxicated carnival staff, and the strong chance of foul language you still see the kids out there having fun. But honestly, who could blame them? Especially if they get their hands on a deep fried snickers bar.

How do you make a fried snickers? Take a snickers on a stick, roll it in batter, toss it in the frying oil, and then top it all off with some powdered sugar. After watching this whole process, I can personally say that its probably the worst thing you can put in your body, aside from toxic waste. But it was SO good, definitely worth the stomach pain.

Lone Wolf

Its been about a month since I’ve moved back into the burg, thus marking my first month of living completely alone without a roommate. A minor milestone, some say, but it does make for a good time to point out the quirks of living without a fellow tenant.

First of all, boxers are always acceptable. It may be 4:30 in the afternoon, maybe even 8 at night…but that doesn’t matter. You’re by yourself, why not be comfortable? The only time when this is not the case is when you have to answer the door and pay for pizza….you definitely have to have pants on for that.

Moving on, shower time upgraded from simply being a time to wash up to being time to wash up and prepare for your career as the lead singer of a rock band. I don’t consider myself to have a great voice… but this year I’ll have a lot of time to work on that. Also, you never, not once, have to sit through a TV show you don’t want to watch. This may seem pretty obvious, but it’s a big triumph if you’ve ever had to share a living room with a bunch of roommates and all they want to watch is “A Real Chance at Love 2.”

There’s also a lot bigger motivation to keep things clean. I once had a coach who said my apartment looked like a “poorly maintained refugee camp,” if he could see my room now he’d be pretty impressed..I even make my bed on a regular basis, who does that? Other perks include a general better night's sleep and a guarantee that I'm the only person eating the groceries I just bought from Parker's.

Don’t get me wrong, having roommates is great, and I CANT spend all day cooped up in my apartment. But by living on my own I’m cleaner, I’m more alert and I’m a better singer. I think I can settle for living a lone for now.

New Diggs

Its that time of year again, summer has ended and school has begun. Unfortunately, I wont be spending the majority of my days out on the deck of our beloved Capula Suite. No, those days are gone. But I did manage to find a pretty nifty spot of my own, and since it is a new year, what better way to celebrate a new apartment with a new blog? My new apartment is in a little place called Collegiate Station, a nice village of apartments all centering around a swimming pool. Needless to say, Im pretty excited about this place, for a few reasons. First, there's a pool. Which means when I am bored I can simply grab a lawn chair and hang by the pool. It also means that I can creep on that same pool at any given moment..my room is on the third floor with a prime view of the swimming area....I promise I'll keep my pants on. But I think my favorite part of my room are the decorations that I got for it-please, save the gay jokes for later, it's pretty sweet.

First of all, you've got my prized Jackalope, Ralph, hanging in the living room. Incase you're wondering, a Jackalope is a large furry animal that looks a lot like an rabbit with antlers on its head. They are rare around these parts, but run rampant in Mexico and some parts of Mesopotamia, and have deadly combination of an unmatched aggression and an unlimited libido, often being said to feed on prey near by while mating at the same time. Once again, this is a REAL animal, and not a stuffed rabbit with antlers glued on his head.

The other great thing about my "bachelor pad" (I'm still working on a name for it) is that after two days, I already have an amazing pickup line that I can take to pine street. There's no way any girl will be able to resist "Hey, do you wanna come over to my apartment and check out my Tamarick Vanover poster?" Its simply too good.

If you dont know who Tamarick Vanover is..watch this video..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anej38ekS80&NR=1

Tamarick actually got kicked out of the League for stealing a car...and apparently buying $30,000 worth of pot from ex-teammate Bam Morris, but forget about that. He's still one Kansas City's best return men in my book.

Anyway that's all I've got, I'll leave you with a quote from Caddy Shack:

Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left. - Ty Webb

Working man

Before too long I realized that I need an internship to beef up my resume...since there is nothnig on it but basketball stuff right now. After applying for a few jobs (an almost getting mauled by a german shephard) I found my home..as an intern with the Kansas City Chiefs. Other than accidently saying "good deal" at the end of most business conversations (it just slips out) and not having much to do its been pretty fun.

A big plus for me is that interns often have to move stuff around the office.. and most of those things are in high places. Thats when i come in and steal the show. Of course I still get the usual "how tall are you?" questions..but at least this way I can show off a little too. If you need to change your light bulb... Im your guy

Off to work for now...


"If u wanna win, put Boobie in. Let me spin!!" -Boobie Miles

Smelling the roses

Its finals week. I've been in the library all day..almost and I cant concentrate so I decided to create a list of all of the little things that i enjoy in life.

Using Handicapped Toilets in public restrooms

Almost every flavor of ice cream ever invented

Snuggies

Oreo cookies and milk

A well prepared ham sandwhich

foot massages

back massages

back massages located on my .... you've seen the movie

using kleenexs when you run out of toilet paper

A Quiznos sub..instead of a Subway sub

Those crunchy ice cubes they have at sonic

Family guy on three different stations (FOX, TBS, cartoon network)

Hats..when you dont have time to shower

Automatic transmission, compared to manual

The fact that clowns are slowly being phased out as a form of entertainment (who likes clowns?)

Flip flops, velcro shoes and any other footware that doesnt require laces.

and finally, twist off bottle caps. Those save a lot of extra time.

That seems like a pretty good list, and I have a final in about 9 hours so I think I'll call it a day.

"Stay golden Pony Boy" - Kid from the Outsiders